You can go ahead and wait until the weekend, after the Browns have used all their draft picks, to read about what happened. Or you can just read our summary of the proceedings below, which is pretty much what will appear on your sports page Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday. (It won’t appear Monday. That space is reserved for Terry Pluto talkin’ to himself about the dreams he has when he falls asleep in the 7th inning of Indians games. Spoiler: They’re mainly about werewolves.)
BEREA, OH — After all the trade rumors and the hurricane of misinformation leading up to the first round of the NFL draft last night, the Browns walked away happy after selecting Player X with the fourth pick and Player Y later in the night.
“There’s always a lot of stuff flying around, and almost none of it is true,” laughed GM Tom Heckert. “These are the guys we wanted all along. We’re very happy. Each guy is a game-changer, someone who can step in immediately and help our team.”
After finishing 5-11 and 4-12 in the last two seasons, the Browns had plenty of holes to fill, most notably on the offensive side of the ball. Despite that, they feel they’re closer to contending than their record indicates, and X and Y will get them ever closer.
“We have a plan, and we believe in our plan,” said Heckert. “We were in a lot of games last year, and I don’t think we’re far from winning those games. Everyone has to get better, they will get better, and X and Y will help us get better.”
Asked why the team opted to stay with Colt McCoy under center after losing out on Robert Griffin III, Heckert reaffirmed his belief in McCoy.
“We look at a lot of guys at every position, not just quarterback. We always feel like we can improve,” said Heckert. “We feel like Colt can still be the guy, and the more pieces we put around him, the more help we give him, the better he’s going to be.”
Not everyone, however, was as excited about the Browns’ picks.
“This is the best example yet of why they have to fire Pat Shurmur,” said one man wearing a Brady Quinn jersey at the hotel bar. “They could have picked Player Z or Player Q, and they should have. Those guys have no idea what they’re doing. And Randy Lerner probably suggested they draft a soccer player. I’m not renewing my season tickets. All they had to do was trade their first-round picks, Colt McCoy, and Ira Newble to the Colts and we would have had Andrew Luck. Mike Holmgren was probably too busy eating to think of that.”
Training camp begins July 31.