Last Thursday at Citizens Academy, a “high-performing public charter school” near University Circle, school authorities were appalled when they found a bag of weed in a 5-year-old’s backpack.
When asked if he was aware of the contents of the bag, the boy identified the substance as “his dad’s weed that he smokes.” The boy’s parents told police that they “mistakenly gave” the bag to their son and are now planning to contest the misleading semantics of “high-performing” in court. Punishment for their “fucking lamewad narc son” is forthcoming, but may involve a strict diet of schwag bud now that they know he “definitely can’t handle his shit."
Incidentally, Flesh-N-Bone delivered a similarly persuasive apologia to us in 2000 when he was convicted for stashing his AK-47 in a baby crib.
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