DenTek Oral Care, the company that manufactures those stabby little floss picks that would probably make decent shivs in a pinch, released its hotly anticipated “Look Who’s Flossing” survey on Wednesday, and—shocker!—it turns out Cleveland is the number one “worst city for flossing.” Los Angeles is the best, and Detroit surprisingly comes in at number three, probably because they maimed all the other contenders with dental picks.
“We commissioned this consumer opinion survey to drill down [see what they did there?] into flossing habits and behaviors in America’s biggest cities,” DenTek Vice President of Marketing Charlotte Havely says in a company press release. She cheerfully adds, in a not at all transparent marketing gambit, “if you’ll keep flossing picks in your bag, your car, wherever is convenient, you’ll be able to floss on the go for a healthier and brighter smile.” Sorry, but we like to keep our smiles sickly and dull. Shiny, non-tartar-caked things are just too damn distracting, and also probably attract thieves.
Perhaps more excitingly, DenTek’s curiously unflagged Wikipedia entry states that the company “develops and markets oral care products, including Diapers, Interdental Brushes, Disposable Dildos, Tongue Cleaners, and Dental Guards.”
Company reps declined to comment on how well Cleveland is performing on the diaper-and-dildo front, but it’s gotta be better than our flossing record. [Via The Cleveland Leader]