Bernie Kosar's Police Report is Classic Bernie

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Bernie. What the hell happened this weekend?

In the wee hours of Sunday morning, former Browns quarterback Bernie Kosar was arrested for drunk driving. None of this - the news that broke that morning and the forthcoming details - is too surprising. But the police report detailing his arrest has some infotaining illustrations.

Kosar's black Cadillac was tagged at 74 mph as he cruised through a 50-mph construction zone along Route 422. Here are the high points from there:

- When asked for his driver's license, Kosar handed Officer Scott McElroy two credit cards. When prompted again, he pointed at the cards as though they were his driver's license.
- When asked if he had had anything to drink that night, Kosar said he was "helping a friend out tonight."
- When asked to recite the alphabet from E to W, Kosar responded: "E, F, G, P, L, M, N, O, Q," which was so close, but then he dovetailed into a series of other incorrect letters and ended on "X."
- When asked if he had any injuries that would prevent him from performing the one-leg stand, Kosar said that he had undergone a lot of surgeries on his knees and ankles because his line couldn't block.
- Kosar refused the Breathalyzer, saying that he had always been told never to take those.

In the past, Kosar has blamed his sometimes-slurred speech on past head injuries and pain medication. Regarding the case at hand, a not-guilty plea was entered Monday. Kosar is slated for a Dec. 9 pretrial hearing.

The official Bernie Kosar archives here at Scene offer more of the same, to one degree or another.

Here's a good'un: "Trying to Cut Bread With a Saw: Bernie Kosar's Life Now"

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