A desperate Cleveland Browns fan has posted an ad on Craigslist for a new quarterback.
The ad-ster poignantly requests: "Please no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum."
Welp, that eliminates Weeden, Brett Favre, and Tim Tebow, yes?
Compensation would run $125,000 a week. Not too shabby.
Read the ad for yourself below:
Hello, and thanks for reading.
Have you played pro football? College ball? Highschool? Pee-wee?
Have you played Madden before?
Do you sort of kind of know some of the rules of football? If yes keep reading. If no...well also keep reading! We will take ANYONE. This could turn into a regular gig for the right person.
The Cleveland Browns as you may have noticed are having problems scoring points on offense consistently. We are deciding that we actually want to win this year and that we have a real shot at it too. 3 wins in 6 games!? We were expecting maybe 1/3 of those wins for the whole year, but SOMEHOW we have a shot still. Here's the thing...our defense is sick nasty, but we've got problems under center...well one problem. Brandon Weeden. If you're sick of seeing desperation heaves to the sidelines, countless sacks after superb coverage, and underhanded lightly tossed interceptions in the 4th quarter then please come apply! If you can throw a ball, come apply! If you can't, come anyway! We can teach you the basics....throwing the ball to the guy who has the same color shirt as you. Throwing the ball reasonably close to a receiver that's WIDE OPEN, throwing the ball more than 3 yards on 3rd and 16. Think you got what it takes? Come on down! You're the next contestant on Cleveland Quarterbacks!
Please no redheads, people named Brett, or any U. Of Florida alum.
So- any takers?
Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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