Cleveland Browns Fans: Drown Your Sorrows With These 9 New Beers at FirstEnergy Stadium

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CLEVESCENE ARCHIVES
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Hope and optimism run deep this time of the year as the Cleveland Browns trudge through training camp and into the first preseason games of the year. (Aforementioned hope and optimism have been know to flame out  by the second quarter of the home opener as the return of Cleveland Browns football brings new faces on the team to curse [see: Josh McCown, Dwayne Bowe and Tramon Williams].) The next best thing to a winning football team, though, is a winning selection of local brews to ease us through each play.

Buckeye Canning told the Northeast Ohio Media Group that nine new breweries will offer 16 ounce cans of craft beer at FirstEnergy Stadium beginning with the Aug. 13 preseason game against the Washington Redskins. All but one of the nine breweries are Cleveland-area operations. 

The new beers available this fall at FirstEnergy Stadium include:
  • Home Field Lager from Hop View Brewing in Madison. The only home field advantage the Cleveland Browns will have all year. 

  • Erie Blu from Cornerstone Brewing Co. in Berea. This fruit ale is brewed with raspberries, blackberries and hopefully absolutely no water from Lake Erie. 

  • Musk of the Minotaur IPA from Hoof Hearted in Morrow County. Hoof Hearted is the only brew not from a Cleveland area brewery. The musk of a minotaur does rival some of the smells radiating from the Muni Lot on Sunday mornings.

  • A Pale Ale from Just Another Fucking Brewery in Wooster comes to FirstEnergy Stadium. Just Another Fucking Football Team is expected to bring sadness as well to FirstEnergy Stadium.

  • New Cleveland Palesner from Platform Beer Co. in Ohio City. This Pilsner-Pale Ale hybrid may be the most innovative thing in the confines of the stadium since this trick play from last season. (Reminder: it didn't even count.)

  • 216, a Pale Ale from Portside Brewery and Distillery. FirstEnergy Stadium is visible from the front door of Portside Brewery and Distillery so expect a sour finish to this Pale Ale. 

  • A Kolsch and Pale Ale from 17th State Brewing Co. Ohio was the 17th state to join the United States and the Cleveland Browns are LeBron James' 17th favorite team in the NFL.
     
  • Hazy Days from Willoughby Brewing Co. This aptly-named wheat beer helps bring a nice, thick haze over the minds of each season ticket holders so they conveniently forget they paid thousands of dollars to watch this football team. 
The Cleveland Browns join the other two sports teams in the city—the Indians and Cavaliers—in offering a wider selection of local craft beer in their stadiums. These new brews do give patrons of FirstEnergy Stadium a more diverse selection of alcohol for those long, Sunday afternoons spent considering life, the universe and the Browns' latest QB.


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