88-Year-Old Ohio Man Says One-Eyed Hooker Stole His Wallet After Morning Rendezvous

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It's not every day, or really any day, that you get to write that headline. But today is that day, and let's cherish it because it will probably never come again.

Police in Springfield, Ohio, relay the woeful tale of the elderly gentleman who earlier on Wednesday got the attention of some cops around 4 in the afternoon.

“Officers spoke with (the victim) who stated that a one-eyed woman stole his wallet,” the report says.

Ah, yes, the one-eyed thief story. Heard that a million times, they probably thought.

But the man continued: It was actually a one-eyed hooker that he had picked up earlier that day, around 9:30 a.m., because you gotta get the day started somehow, who was the culprit.

Turns out the woman absconded with the man's wallet after the interlude and used his credit card over the next two hours. No arrests were made, however, despite a witness, because there was a lack of probable cause.


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