Roses are red
Violets are blue
You were on a date
And then came some poo
"We were just cleaning at the end of the night and found them," reports Jonah Oryszak, owner of The Plum.
"Them" in this case refers to a soiled pair of boxers left in the trash in one of the restaurant's bathrooms sometime during Valentine's Day service.
Yes, someone, mid-romantic dinner, sharted, excused himself from his date, took off his pants, deposited the offending undergarments in question, returned to dinner commando style, presumably after cleaning himself up a bit, and went on with his meal.
"No clue who it was," says Oryszak. "I wish I knew!"
We... kinda don't.